How I miss our Tulane. I can say our Tulane because he was so much like a father to me--all the way up to the end of his long and lovely life with Barbara. I am thankful to be among those who knew and loved Tulane, for really knowing Tulane meant loving Tulane. We had the good fortune of knowing, loving and being loved by this generous, kind, and deeply feeling man whom some of you are getting to know vicariously and possibly by the presence of his gentle spirit with us right now.

I miss Tulane' smooth, warm voice that vibrated my heart to a state of grace and peace, often comforting me across the miles. I miss the specialty of his jokes and his authentic Italian cooking. I miss the way he pulled the chairs out for "his" ladies (namely, me and Barb) when we were out in public. I miss sitting across from him at the table in restaurants (without fail) and being the only two to enjoy wine together (until Keith loosened up a little later in life!). I even miss his passionately expressed philosophical opinions, even though many differed quite significantly from my own. And I miss how he cried. What woman doesn't cherish a man who sheds a tear at just the right moments? That was Tulane, alright, and I will be forever grateful to have had this loving, gentleman as my father-in-law.

"Tulane, I know you can hear me, so this is what I have to say to you:

First of all, we love you and we miss you and we thank you for your love!

Remember last year in late August when you were still able to sit in your chair and we had that heart-to-heart talk? I had to return home to take care of business and even though I was returning in a few days, I knew I needed to treat my good-bye to you as possibly my last. You were acutely aware of that possibility too, so we bared our hearts to each other. I told you that you've been like a father to me, sometimes even more so than my own father, and although you could barely talk, you managed to say the same thing about me as a daughter to you. I thanked you and told you I will miss you, and what will forever stay with me is that you then said, "I will miss you too" as tears streamed down both of our faces and we wept until we laughed, then hugged.

I did see you again and had the honor of being with you in your final days, hours and finally for that last breath that liberated you from your suffering. I know your spirit is free and that you are safe and ecstatic in the hands of God. I also know that you visit your beloved Barb often and that you both will be together forever, beyond "in sickness and health", but into eternity. Until that time arrives (or timelessness, that is), as her family and community of friends, you can hereby count on us to do our best to be there for her. Although none of us could ever fill your shoes, we are are still here, caring for and loving each other the best we can.  And as your earthly family and friends, we will always be loving you.

Your loving daughter,

Mary"

Keith suggested I write this dream down and I thought, why not share it on my blog? So here I am, in this safe space, entrusting with my Gaia family something deeply personal from my heart of hearts.

On the eve of August 21rst and what would have been my brother Tom's 50th birthday (who died when he was 17 and I was 16), I had the most beautiful dream, a divine gift unto itself.

In the dream a pair of holy hands reach out to give me a shiny jewelery box laced in gold and purple velvet. In awe, I awoke, only later realizing upon seeing the actual box, that the gift in my dream was the same special box that my brother made for me and gave me for Christmas many, many years ago that is till among my earthly possessions. I was ever so delighted, and still am. This sacred box contains evidence of treasures from my long and lovely life such as golden locks of hair from my son's childhood, locks of hair from my own, a picture of my then young son and new dad Keith passed out together, an going steady ID bracelet from Kip Morris, a boyfriend from when I was 13 and so on.

The timing of the gift is uncanny and is nothing less than a pure and complete connection with the divine. It also signifies a landmark, a turning point on my spiritual growth path that has heightened my awareness and ability to live in the flow, in harmony with my intuition and experiencing more synchronicity and serendipity.

Just wanted to check in from my higher self and let y'all know that all is indeed well in my world and that I wish this for all.

Much love from within and beyond,

Mother Mary

Thanks to Bluewater and her shout out to Virgo birthdays, I've successfully lifted myself out of a little relapse of distress (or one could say gotten my head out of my ass, doh!) Uh-hum, as I was saying, this Virgo birthday thing could not have been better suited to any other astrological sign. You see, we Virgos are servants of service and this brilliant guy came up with a brilliant plan and it is changing the world! Curious?  Go here!

Oh, irony of ironies! I can see the cosmic humor now. The woman on the right with the mask is the woman who "lost it" and that is me as Amelia Earhart next to her, perhaps about to fly away...



"Sometimes it takes a rainy day
just to let you know
everything's gonna be
alright" ~Folksinger Chris Williamson

Well, symbolically speaking, it has not been rain but a violent storm that has blown the roof off of what I thought was all set. Remove yourself from the old...Due to being the target of violent public outbursts of a fellow colleague whose life is in shambles, I am re-evaluating my work life and its trajectory. Remove yourself from the old...I have been processing the dramas and am coming around to see the light at the end of this dreary tunnel in which I found myself like a deer in headlights, in a semi-catatonic state at moments and quite stunned by the sting of poison from someone who is so wounded and out of control that she felt she had to tear into me in ways intended maliciously to only hurt, and it was her hurt out of control that was so evident.

Remove yourself from the old...

But, alas, I remind myself that it is her slime, her stuff, and I am water shedding and am recovering from being knocked off-center, from having the wind knocked out of my sails with such mean-spirited vitriol. I am bouncing back, I always do, and I hereby pledge to take the high road and extend compassion, not directly, but here in my heart. I will not let her distress become my own. Remove yourself from the old...I did in the initial aftermath of being attacked, adrenal glands in overdrive, emotional hijacking and all, but I have since meditated, bicycled, listened to music, cuddled with Keith, done EFT, written in my Gaia blog, done angel card readings and read this amazing and relevant report called Whats up on planet earth. Tonight we had a friend over for dinner when we least thought we could pull it off, but it was lovely and we feel more relaxed and nourished as a result. Tonight we'll watch a movie or I may just take a shower and go to bed with a book, perhaps lounging in bed in the morning--or for the next 3 mornings if I feel like it! Yay!

So, what do I get from the past 48 hours of hellish work scenes? An amazing opportunity to close one door and open others, if this would indeed serve the greater good. Remove yourself from the old...Had this crisis/drama not occurred, I would not have inquired about another position at an agency (through which I volunteer for our elderly, disabled friend) that is within walking distance from my house. One thing I will do this weekend is write up a cover letter and resume and send it off to this center for independent living. Just this year, I received a prestigious award from this center for empowering elders and helping to keep them out of nursing homes. I've also worked for them before, so I don't think landing the position will be hard, but it is part-time at 25 hours and may not pay so well. Remove yourself from the old...However, if it feels right all around, the universe can take care of the details and I can trust that we will be generously provided for.

I wonder what kinds of things I could do to be working with universal laws more clearly in this delicate time of exploring uprooting from a place and position I cherish and have loved. I am not running away due to recent conflict, but am realizing the need to let go of the old and move toward more health, passion and sanity for me and thus the world. Remove yourself from the old...Stirrings of change are afoot for me personally now, perhaps far beyond the change process I have been faciitating at work, and the potential of passing the gauntlet over to a new director is unsettling and exciting all at once. Remove yourself from the old...I will remain in the present moment as I get in gear for moving forward toward a life in general with a greater ease of being. And i wish that for each of you too as the winds of change and birthing of the new conitinue to arrive in our lives.

"Get ready! October will bring in a full manifestation of our new roles, our new purposes, and a whole new set of “responsibilities” to our beautiful planet earth. Our “careers” will blast off, as we will then be poised and ready to offer the services of our heart’s desires to those in need of them. Not only will our new store-fronts or portals for receiving money be activated and greatly utilized, but many miracles, higher connections to others, new arrivals of hopes and dreams, and much of everything else will fall in our laps as well. There will be so much going on for us in October, that we will barely be able to keep up!

 

During this lull of the past several weeks and even for awhile longer, we are undergoing a process of preparation for our new roles. We are opening more, and readying in many ways to be carrying new responsibilities. We will be holding much more light, and thus, carrying much more responsibility for the awakening and evolution of the planet. Our very new “assignments” are being placed within us most assuredly now.

 

Within this lull or eye of the storm, it can seem very quiet. We may think that our jobs are drying up, that our source of income is waning and perhaps over forever, or even that we are sitting here twiddling our thumbs with nothing much occurring anywhere for us. We needed a rest and we needed to rejuvenate from the gut wrenching energies of July and the latter part of June. After this restful period and still within the lull, we then began the “re-wiring” or rather preparation period for our service to humanity…our service to those on differing rungs of the evolutionary ladder. And we will indeed be needed.

 

The full solar eclipse of August 1st opened the door for these new arrivals. It was the start of a very new beginning….at last. Most recently, it was time to really let go of much. It was time to cleanse and clear out anything in our lives which no longer fit us, which dragged us down, and which placed us in a less desirable space that what we would have preferred. The interactions and manifestations of the past year and a half that were not as pleasant as we would have hoped, were now very over. The time for doing what we really did not want to do is now very over. Experiencing any unpleasantness is now very over. Any sacrifices on our parts are now very over. (Apologies here….I have been writing on my book so much of late that I’m having a hard time putting a sentence together!)

 

We have literally left one world behind and are now fully enmeshed in another reality. This new reality is so very light, so very quick to manifest our every thought, so very loving, so very there, so very free, so very complete, and so very magical indeed. Currently, these energies are surrounding us but in a much more quiet and peaceful way. Come October, they will be much more forceful, moving, and will manifest so much for us that we may become overloaded with too much of a good thing.

During this time of movement into the new, some of our animal companions who embody much of our old energy are chosing to leave. Although they will not be going with us in their current form, they have already made plans to come back into different situations and are so very excited about their return...whether returning again to us or to our loved ones.

 

If you are currently not experiencing any of the peaceful stillness mentioned above, I would suggest to you that you have not yet let go entirely of the old world or the old reality. All you need do is to close the door. Close the door and open another one. Tap into something different from what is falling. Tap into something different from the old outside manifestations. Remove yourself from the old, literally or not. Take time for yourself. If you are still in a job, when you arrive home, turn off the phone, the internet, the television, and take a wonderful walk, read a pleasure book, bake or cook, do something creative, take a hot bath, and simply be in another space altogether.

 

Remove yourself from the old.

 

Refuse to be a part of it. Refuse to participate in the dramas of others. Look ahead. See a new horizon. Know that it is indeed there, just waiting for you. Decide what it is that you really want to do now. Know that there will be a place for it. Remember what it is that you wish to offer the world. And know that this gift of service has been within you always…you need not learn anything new. And know as well that a gift of service can be a work of art, a piece of music, or anything that serves to connect others to a higher light.

 

In order that things become stabilized during this massive transition from the old world to the new reality, a few things have been set into place to hold the energies firm during the fall. Firstly, the new babies are arriving. These new little ones are coming in rapid numbers, in twos and threes, and arriving as quickly as they possibly can. Because there are so many of them, and because they carry such a high vibration, they are thus laying a very solid grid for the creation of the new. Another stabilizing force is Barack Obama. He will be poised and positioned perfectly to bring the entire planet together, there-by creating yet another grid of unity that will serve to stabilize things as much as possible during the fall. We will connect and support each other through his divine and highly evolved leadership. All, as always, is in divine and perfect order. Things are being put into place very perfectly indeed, including us! We will be an additional piece which will hold things together during the fall, as we assist those in transition.

 

So now is the time to examine what it is that you really and truly want to offer to the world. I can assure you, when you connect to your soul’s plan, you will be miraculously poised to offer it to the world. You need not know how, you need not plan in great detail, you only need connect to your heart’s desire, begin it, and the rest will fall into place all on its own. 

 

Let go of the old. Leave your old responsibilities behind if you are comfortable doing that. Know that the struggle is over. Know that you need no longer hold anyone or anything up ever again. Know that unpleasant energies cannot be where you are…if they do show up, ignore them, as they only want your energy and your light…you have better things to do.  Dis-connect from the old reality and trust that when you do, you will find yourself at the gates of Heaven.

www.whatsuponplanetearth.com

 

Wishing you heaven in your heart, starlight in your soul, and miracles in your life in these miraculous times...

Sharing my angel card reading from this morning:


Serenity

Card Meaning: You are moving into a time of greater inner peace and tranquility.

Peace of mind means feeling secure, and knowing that you're always provided for. Even if your logical mind cannot fathom how a challenge could be resolved, peace of mind means that you trust that God will create a miraculous solution. This sort of faith is always warranted because faith is a key component in experiencing such miracles.

By drawing this card, the angels reassure you that peace of mind is within you. You can feel serene, even in the midst of great turmoil. It's a mistake to think that you have to wait until your life is problem free before you can be happy and peaceful. The opposite is actually true. First, you work toward serenity, and then your life challenges lessen and disappear. Serenity is your natural state of mind, and the angels are now working with you to actualize this.

...that i love my job. Well, at least that I have loved my job. My job has been a series of royal pains in the ass the past few weeks. Pains I have been willing to endure and necessary growing pains. But now the ante has been upped so drastically, I am having serious doubts about whether it is indeed in my best interest or the interest of those i serve to stay on for much longer. Michele Shocked wrote in a song that the secret of a long life is knowing when it is time to say goodbye. Hmmm, i am bearing that in mind today.

Last summer I thought was ready to make the break, but it wasn't yet my time and I am so glad i listened to my inner wisdom. Some of you were cheering me on to make the change and accept a position in a holistic health clinic. But alas, my choice was to stay--and i am so glad i did. Thing is, I need to consult my higher wisdom and, by the way, if any of you have the gift of helping others do that and would pass a reading onto me, why, please feel free! Open to suggestions here.

Now, onto Barack Obama's  speech accepting his nomination for presidency of the us of a.

How true their message still rings today. How relevant for our times. How slowly we learn, at the cost of countless human lives and disappearing species.




Today my heart is hurting, from the macrocosm to the microcosm. I am in crisis mode at my place of work, yet letting it pass, breathing, releasing, even though everything is up in the air, still unresolved.

A colleague exploded yesterday, and I was the target of her aggression, her unresolved pain. Yet I do have compassion for her, even thought she is slandering me to my boss and will not own her behavior of yesterday and today. I have never quite been in such a predicament and find it a painful one. Had a good cry outside. Need to return to work Tuesday morning  from the long weekend to have a meeting with the two of us and our bosses. Need to decide if I will look for work in my own community.

Her:
-living in poverty
-is 35 and has 5 children
-a boyfriend who lives with suicidal depression and recently got his head stitched up after a suicide attempt
-has 2 teenagers who are in jail for attempted murder (they shot a man in the head but he lived)
-the older teenage son has an infant daughter she is helping to raise
-is a person of color
-works half-time serving lunch here at the center
-did not graduate from high school and can barely read
-is not supervised by me

Me:
-middle class
-white
-post graduate school education
-one independent adult child
-full-time job as director of center
-expected to co-lead a laughter yoga session in 45 minutes. How perfect is that?

I cannot let this day pass without pausing and praying  for all the souls suffering from the ravages of war, especially on this day.

Tonight as thousands of flag waving Democrats applauded soldiers "fighting to defend our freedom" (one of the biggest lies), this very day holds the record of the most devastating number of civilian "casualties" since 2001. Tragically, the US bombed a village during the dead of the night, terrorizing innocent people, and killing at least 60 children as they slept.

Who has the right to impose such atrocities on innocent human lives in such an unconscionable nightmare?

What Democrat has the courage to speak out against war in this convention? No one yet. And Barbara Boxer of California and Robert Byrd from West Virginia were the only two to voice their staunch opposition to this unjust and illegal war. But sadly, their voices are sorely missing in this 100 million plus people charade called the democratic convention. If voices on the street were to be heard, that is where we would hear the voices of sanity speaking out against the madness.

Please pardon my cynicism, but more than 100 innocent people were brutally murdered in an air-strike last night that was funded by our tax dollars and many democrat leaders' votes. Where is that opposition?

Here it is, in my heart, deep in my soul, not in my name, I cry, please no more war.

8/27 also marks the largest raids and arrests of immigrants in US history. 600 illegal immigrants were arrested at their workplace yesterday and are separated from their families. Another atrocity of our government.

This is what I am being faced with on a daily basis at work. While I am indeed the 'change championer', I cannot go it alone! I need the seniors here to uphold a standard of inclusiveness and spirit of welcome for all people of good intent that enter our doors. The change process at hand is beyond what appears to be simply expansion on a physical level. What is happening is that our center, which has been primarily utilized by and for Latinos, is now becoming a multi-cultural center. African Americans are coming from outside of 'the hood' here to participate in our fitness canter and other activities. If this sounds simple, it ain't! What I am seeing is what some would call racism (Latino-Black). However, I am of the mind and particular diversity training that what I am seeing is internalized oppression at work. One oppressed group that has a comfortable niche is being challenged with the expectation and standard that others--who are different from what they are used to--be welcomed at our center. So far so good, with only one skirmish that necessitated my intervention and management/redirection. :0

I happen to love and embrace change (most of the time) but not everyone does, as we know from our own change process  from Zaadz to Gaia. I admit that I was not the happiest camper in the change away from Zaadz and it took me some time to adjust. Remembering this helps me to be empathic with the folks who are resistant to 'my' center's significant change process. I am seeing resistance to change showing up in funny ways from indifference in some folks to  disappearances in others. But I am trying to maintain my calm, soothing nature and keeping my humor cap on, albeit askew these days!

More than anything, I have been steadily implementing change since I became director here May 1, 2006. I've taken a part-time, unsafe space and turned it into a full-time, nurturing, educational, empowering, fun and safe space for elders to be. We've grown exponentially and the growth continues. At this point, i a mlooking forward to it leveling off and being able to reap teh fruits of our labors. In soon time, I tell myself, in soon time.
 
I may keep tooting my own horn here, but I can use a little horn tooting these days as my work is often thankless. In my previous blogpost, I mention that there is some logistical support being provided, but emotional support or care expressed from the powers that be are next to nil. (Ah, yet another opportunity for me to find all I need from within myself!) I carry on,  perservering for the right reasons, not for recognition, but to be of joyful service.

But back to that horn a tootin', ;)... I'll share that under my leadership we've already successfully navigated ourselves from being a small entity unto ourselves to being adopted by a city and thus having more financial stability. People have found a place to call their own and the quality of their lives have subsequently soared in many cases. Now we are moving from being a center for Latinos to being a full out multi-cultural center and guess who gets to navigate that huge change? Moi! :)

Please help wish me well, my dear ones.

The professional movers come Thursday with the exercise machines and other hand-me-overs. Exciting!  Now, outta these clothes and into my painting outfit cus one bold volunteer came to our painting party to help us paint. Really, he is helping ME paint, cus no one else showed up (and he is peeved)! One can only expect so much from elders when it comes to painting parties, eh...They've done their time, paid their dues, and I excuse them all! Now, onto that painting...