2 lives taken
Posted on May 20th, 2008
by 
Mother Mary
Mother Mary
While I care deeply about the tragic deaths and suffering due to mother nature's power in Burma and China, 2 tragedies took place over the weekend in the troubled city where I work that hit home for me. I need to write about them here for it is heavy in my heart tonight...
You may recall when I wrote from the southwest last month about another elder from my center passing to the other side. Her name was Maria Cuffee and she was such a dear hearted woman, always saying, "Hey baby" and kissing me on the cheek with every new day. How I miss Maria and her consistently kind and loving greeting that I came to take for granted.
Before my trip, I learned that Maria's liver gave out and that she might not live through the day. I really wanted to say goodbye to her so I brought 2 of her friends with me to the hospital (who are also regulars at the senior center where I work). We 3 have visited elders in the hospital before and pray over them doing hands on healing (I do Reiki quietly as they pray aloud in Spanish. We are quite the motley crew).
With Maria being in intensive care, the chances were slim that we'd get to see her, but a handsome young man heard us asking about her in the family waiting room to which he perked up and said,"That's my grandmother...Follow me." He boldly opened the double electric doors to the ICU and briskly led us to his abuela's room with the 3 of us trailing closely behind. Nary a nurse raised an eyebrow upon our swift and confident entrance, thanks to Maria's grandson.
Upon seeing Maria, I was taken aback at how much she reminded me of my own mother, who, just months earlier, was also unconscious in the ICU with DT's (alcohol withdrawl). Maria was unconscious but responded to my touch and words. Her grandson sat on the windowsill as tears filled his eyes. His pain was palpable and I wanted to reach out to him before he cut out of the room, perhaps embarrassed for his adolescent self to be seen crying "like a girl".
After our prayers over Maria, I whispered into her ear the classic encouragement, "Its okay Maria. You are safe. If you feel it is time to go, you can go. You can let go. Just go to the light, follow your heart, you are with God. Your family will be okay" i I say all of that, I now wonder? I think I did.
Well, guess what? I was dead wrong. Over the weekend, a young man was fatally shot. He was the captain of the football team, a straight A student, a friend to everyone, ready to go to college in the fall on full scholarship and to the prom next week. On the cover of today's city newspaper is the haunting photo of his mother's face writhing in agony among a sea of wailing loved ones.
But that murder victim wasn't Maria's grandson. The person who pulled the trigger was. Rumor has it that Maria's grandson had to prove himself to his new family, the gang.
One life wasn't taken this weekend, but two. Two 17-year old young men of color who didn't even know each other. One life tragically ended in moments as he left the phsycial plane and another life ended tragically as he is locked behind bars, held without bail, and will be tried for first degree murder as an adult.
Maria's grandson was in pain and he was from a dysfunctional family with an inter-generational cycle of poverty, addiction and violence. He lost his beloved grandmother a month ago and couldn't let himself "go soft". I wish I could have gotten to that kid, reached out beyond my offers to the family for support...but I was on vacation and missed Maria's funeral and even if I hadn't been away, I know I would not have been able to prevent his tragic mistake.
My compassion goes out to both victims and their grieving, shocked families. My heart goes out to Maria, and my prayers do too, for maybe she can offer solace to her grandson and family, to help them find the strength they will need to make it through each day. Maria's grandson murdered someone, yes, but he is not a monster. He is a confused, deeply troubled kid who doesn't have a clue as to how to deal with the dark emotions and the shitty hand he's been dealt in life--and now the one he's dealt for himself.
You may recall when I wrote from the southwest last month about another elder from my center passing to the other side. Her name was Maria Cuffee and she was such a dear hearted woman, always saying, "Hey baby" and kissing me on the cheek with every new day. How I miss Maria and her consistently kind and loving greeting that I came to take for granted.
Before my trip, I learned that Maria's liver gave out and that she might not live through the day. I really wanted to say goodbye to her so I brought 2 of her friends with me to the hospital (who are also regulars at the senior center where I work). We 3 have visited elders in the hospital before and pray over them doing hands on healing (I do Reiki quietly as they pray aloud in Spanish. We are quite the motley crew).
With Maria being in intensive care, the chances were slim that we'd get to see her, but a handsome young man heard us asking about her in the family waiting room to which he perked up and said,"That's my grandmother...Follow me." He boldly opened the double electric doors to the ICU and briskly led us to his abuela's room with the 3 of us trailing closely behind. Nary a nurse raised an eyebrow upon our swift and confident entrance, thanks to Maria's grandson.
Upon seeing Maria, I was taken aback at how much she reminded me of my own mother, who, just months earlier, was also unconscious in the ICU with DT's (alcohol withdrawl). Maria was unconscious but responded to my touch and words. Her grandson sat on the windowsill as tears filled his eyes. His pain was palpable and I wanted to reach out to him before he cut out of the room, perhaps embarrassed for his adolescent self to be seen crying "like a girl".
After our prayers over Maria, I whispered into her ear the classic encouragement, "Its okay Maria. You are safe. If you feel it is time to go, you can go. You can let go. Just go to the light, follow your heart, you are with God. Your family will be okay" i I say all of that, I now wonder? I think I did.
Well, guess what? I was dead wrong. Over the weekend, a young man was fatally shot. He was the captain of the football team, a straight A student, a friend to everyone, ready to go to college in the fall on full scholarship and to the prom next week. On the cover of today's city newspaper is the haunting photo of his mother's face writhing in agony among a sea of wailing loved ones.
But that murder victim wasn't Maria's grandson. The person who pulled the trigger was. Rumor has it that Maria's grandson had to prove himself to his new family, the gang.
One life wasn't taken this weekend, but two. Two 17-year old young men of color who didn't even know each other. One life tragically ended in moments as he left the phsycial plane and another life ended tragically as he is locked behind bars, held without bail, and will be tried for first degree murder as an adult.
Maria's grandson was in pain and he was from a dysfunctional family with an inter-generational cycle of poverty, addiction and violence. He lost his beloved grandmother a month ago and couldn't let himself "go soft". I wish I could have gotten to that kid, reached out beyond my offers to the family for support...but I was on vacation and missed Maria's funeral and even if I hadn't been away, I know I would not have been able to prevent his tragic mistake.
My compassion goes out to both victims and their grieving, shocked families. My heart goes out to Maria, and my prayers do too, for maybe she can offer solace to her grandson and family, to help them find the strength they will need to make it through each day. Maria's grandson murdered someone, yes, but he is not a monster. He is a confused, deeply troubled kid who doesn't have a clue as to how to deal with the dark emotions and the shitty hand he's been dealt in life--and now the one he's dealt for himself.
Access: Public
darfur
July 2008
oh my God… my prayers go out to this young man and those grieving families… may they all find the healing they need and peace and strength for each day until that healing comes
What a hard story to read; what a difficult tragedy for you and your community to experience. Blessings, Mary, to you and all involved.
This must be very difficult for you to deal with, Mary. It's a heartbreaking story for everyone involved. Much love to you.
Thanks for your kind words.
Thing is, it is difficult, yes, but it is also the way life is here (on that side of the mountain). That may sound harsh, but I need acceptance of the way things are, and just keep on being a compassionate light presence to the best of my ability. Sometimes I cry or even weep, but other times I toughen my skin, for I work in the most poverty stricken area of the city–and the state! I am not jaded but I need to be a strong presence for the elders in the community. Other times, they are strong for me. I really love that community and do get attached, like I was to Maria.
BYW, Maria's grandson got out on bail and I fear that the opposing gang will get their revenge. I hope my 2 lives taken title does not become a literal truth.
I think acceptance of the way things are is the most precious way. That's what your writing and story shows. You are just there in the middle of it, relating the story with your truth and honesty. It shines through. The sadness is there, but also the strength. Your bonds with the community seem so strong, yet the fragility of it is also present. It captures a certain truth, and shows that the larger awareness is present.
My Heart for Ministry has always been tender for those from everywhere from the Cradle to the Grave finding my soul thrilled to simply look into the eyes of any soul and see the Love G_d has for them as an individual. This is certainly sad and I wish we could all be horrified by the shock of how much more than unusual this situation is but what is worse is we can find it believable that it happens. As a collective the parents of our society are seeing our babies losing their lives at the hands of our babies. Some think they're “old enough to know better” but their choices show otherwise. Their souls have not drawn to the light we see/(k).
If I had but one prayer I could use to change the world knowing that to form words around it would make it happen it would not be to bring the dead to life and change history personally or privately. I would seek to have more people inspired by the Love and Light within the world to change it so we could know these lives have not gone their path for nothing. Then I'm reminded. That is the Way. People have always come and gone at different times and we all must learn to live, love, lose, laugh, and watch as others do so at different times. We must learn to find solace and comfort in the Joys of others and give to others the strength we have when they're in need. And I think that is happening here where Zaadz embraced a wider community on Earth as Gaia.
I pray Maria on the other side of the Veil and her Familia on this side find their strength Grow as they walk the path ahead. May they and your Community be Granted the Power of Serenity as they pass through the Valley of the Shadow of Death so they might live in the Glory of Transformation as Sorrow and Suffering become Joy and Peace.
In Light and Love!†!
~Soul Friend
~~~Rick
Centria and Rick,
Your words are like a healing salve to me right now. I am grateful for this way to connect with humanity, with our human family, and non-human critters sometimes too.
I'm in a slow, molasses like space, enjoying hte evening bird songs, but feeling a weight in my chest, unshed tears perhaps.
thank you for making the time to be present.
love,
mary
I think it's a natural response to slow down to respond to loss because it feels like we're somehow freezing time by moving slowly so we can reach back to the time things were different. Artificial and unsuccessful as it is anyone can find themselves holding back in that way. Someone shared a precious Truth with me recently that was shared with her years ago. If we give ourselves permission to go through the motions and participate in different activities, Later the E-motions will follow. This can be very liberating and removes some of the weight of our burdens.
For myself I've found it incredibly helpful to Memorialize someone through evaluating how my life was touched by the Message of the Life of Someone's Soul and then incorporating some activity or belief to my own life to enrich my own Path toward Light and Love in a Way Uniquely Improved by the Footprints of their Life upon my Heart. This was the Inspiration for my Post titled Memorial Doorways in the group here on Gaia called Passing at http://pods.gaia.com/passing so Welcome and Invited to drop by if you like. I found it quite consoling lately.